If I Ain't Got You
by hazibo
Summary: Are the both in love, or is it unrequited.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I was asked if I could write a jonnie ff, so this is the first chapter. I'm not sure how long it will be or how good it will be, but I hope you enjoy it.**

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I can feel myself falling deeper in love with him, I mm not even sure it's real yet. But it's there. It's undeniable. But does he feel the same. Well I think so, I hope so, I don't know.

I can't take my eyes of him. The way he walks, the way he talks and that smile. The one that cuts through my heart seeping deep into the depths of my soul. I fall asleep his face in my dreams and yet I'm scared. Scared of falling in love again. I find it hard to breath when I'm near him, my skins prickles under his touch and my knees go weak.

He drives me crazy, my every waking hour I feel him, he takes over me. I'm a love sick teenager all over again. And then he slips past me and I melt. I'm basically Olaf. Well I might as well be. My head spins, and I hope he's mine. I'm loving him now but he just doesn't know, and I don't think he ever will. It's unprofessional, I've been here before. Can I do this again? I'm not sure.

Just to taste his lips, his breath against my cheek. Him lay next to me in the morning instead of just a cold empty space. My thoughts are beginning to take over. The sound of his voice rings in my ears, it's comforting. But then I feel like this shouldn't be the way. I can barely hear myself think when he's near me. I can now feel my eyes dropping, I'm falling asleep. Him still consuming my thoughts.

Running around in my dreams, the longing for his touch, the scent of him filling my head. The schemas filling in the blanks. I dream of his kiss. The sweet morning after kiss on the head. Waking up to find I'm tangled in his embrace. I love him with a heavy heart, what if he's never mine? This love seems so breakable. My heart breaks a little bit every time when he looks away. The glances that take my breath away fade out. And now I don't know.

I sit up, the reality kicking in. Why do I always end up imaging the worst. Of course he feels this way too. He has to. The looks he gives, the cheeky smiles and brushing of our skin. He drives me insane. I'm so in love with him, and yet I can't actually admit it out loud. Will he make the first move. What if he kisses me today. How do I react? Do I kiss him back?

Stop fretting it will be okay. I close my eyes and tilt my head back. I see his face, my body relaxes. He's there, my heart flutters. My eyes stay closed, I'm falling back to sleep. Happy thoughts now Connie I tell myself. It's all going to work out.


	2. Chapter 2

I awaken from my slumber. My hand hits the cold space beside me. It was just a dream then. I tilt my head to the side, my eyes squint at the light that's entering my room. The clock reads 6:00amthat means time to get up for work. I close my eyes again his face appears in my thoughts.

I drag myself up, and pad across the room. The wardrobe doors still open from yesterday. I pull out black trousers and a white blouse. I sit back onto the bed, the material concealing my skin. I glance up catching a glimpse of myself on the mirror. My face has a strange glow to it, the glow of love and happiness. I smile as I reach for my heals. I just have enough time for a piece of toast and a coffee.

Before I knew it I was in the car, the radio playing 'summer of 69'. My head bobbed in time to the music as the early morning sun lit my path. I drew up at work, pulling up the hand break and turning off the ignition. I spot him, he's walking around the corner heading into the ED. A smile plays on my lips, I take a final look in the mirror. If there was a true definition of perfect, I'm pretty sure today I would be it.

The doors open, I met by an array of lights, a rather large Christmas tree and a waiting room full of patients. Just how I like it, buzzing.

' _those were the best days of my life' I_ sing to myself. Oh what I'd give to be young, restless and carefree again. I always think would I have done things differently. And if I had who would

I be now. Because Connie Beauchamp, me. That's who I am. Who I'll always be. But it's letting my guard down I have the trouble with. Letting people. It makes me vulnerable, believe it or not I have feelings too. I feel people forget that sometimes.

"Mrs B" Jacob says as he brushes past me, his hand slightly touching my hand as he does so. This man is wonderful, caring but yet at the same time infuriating. This all being said I can't help myself, I'm falling in love with him.


End file.
